How do I arrange co-parenting in the Netherlands?

The short answer

A parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) is a written agreement between both parents that sets out all practical arrangements regarding the upbringing and care of children under Dutch law. The plan contains agreements about where the child lives, when they stay with the other parent, who pays which costs and how you make important decisions. You can create the plan yourself or ask for help from a mediator or solicitor. Once the plan is signed by both parents, it is legally binding in the Netherlands and you can hold each other accountable to it.

What does Dutch law say?

Since 2009, divorced parents in the Netherlands are legally required to create a parenting plan (ouderschapsplan) if they have minor children together. The law is set out in the Dutch Civil Code (Burgerlijk Wetboek) and applies to all parents who divorce, even if they were not married. The parenting plan must contain at least certain topics prescribed by Dutch law. If parents cannot agree on the plan, the court can make a decision.

What should you pay attention to?

The parenting plan must be practical and realistic for your situation in the Netherlands. Think carefully about the distances between your homes and your children's school hours. Make agreements that you can both comply with and don't forget to regularly evaluate whether the plan still works. Involve children from about 12 years old in decisions about the schedule.

Example from practice

Mark and Linda have an 8-year-old son and recently divorced in the Netherlands. In their parenting plan (ouderschapsplan), they agreed that their son lives with Linda during weekdays and stays with Mark every weekend from Friday to Sunday. During school holidays, they divide the time equally: one half with mum, the other half with dad. Mark pays the child benefit (kinderbijslag) and school costs, Linda pays for clothing and medical costs. They also agreed that they both attend parent evenings and make important decisions together.

What can you do?

Start by making a list of all topics that need to be arranged. Discuss the practical details together with your ex-partner and try to reach a joint plan under Dutch law.