Can I adopt my partner's child?

The short answer

Stepparent adoption is possible if you have cared for and raised the child as your own for at least 3 years. You must be able to demonstrate that there is a strong parent-child bond. The biological parent who does not live with you must give consent or have their parental authority revoked. After the adoption, you are fully equated to a biological parent. This means that you also have contact and maintenance obligations after a possible divorce.

What does the law say?

Dutch law regulates adoption in the Civil Code. Specific conditions that are stricter than regular adoption apply to stepparent adoption. The law requires that there is an actual family situation in which you fulfill the parental role. The best interest of the child is always the central consideration in the assessment. The court must be convinced that the adoption is in the best interests of the child.

What should you be aware of?

Be aware that adoption is an irreversible step that also has consequences in the event of a possible divorce. You not only gain rights, but also obligations such as maintenance obligations. The procedure can take a long time, especially if the other biological parent does not give consent. The costs can also add up, especially if you need a lawyer.

Example from practice

Sarah has been living with Mark for 4 years and cares for his 8-year-old son Tim. Tim's biological mother is out of the picture and gives consent for the adoption. Sarah can demonstrate that she takes Tim to school, cares for him when he's sick, and provides him with emotional support. She files a request with the court with evidence such as school reports where she is listed as the contact person. After an investigation by the Child Protection Board, the judge grants the adoption. Tim also receives Sarah's last name and she becomes his legal mother.

What can you do?

Start by collecting evidence that shows you have been fulfilling the parental role for a longer period of time. First discuss the adoption with your partner and the child.